Get Your Premium Membership

Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » Be Gentle » A Mothers Love

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/3/2018 12:31:42 PM

Kelly Dickinson
Posts: 3
They say a mothers love is the strongest?
They say the bond between mother and daughter
can’t be broken?

You walked along the street, never looking behind
I was 5, but knew, we could not rewind
You were gone, leaving me alone
What would happen, would you change your mind
A letter, a visit, or just phone?

No fight for your first born
My young heart was left torn
You looking forward to your new life
My dad alone, without his wife
Now a lover to his best friend
Was this a bad dream that would soon end?

Years passed with little contact
I tried to forgive, make an effort
But you had two others and I had lost you forever
You were my mum, yet still a stranger

I now have a son, my pride and joy
And our bond will never break, nor be destroyed
Cause a mothers love is the strongest, except for a few
I guess I was unlucky, but you were too
Thirty five years missed, forgotton memories, no regrets
I hope he was worth it, cause I have my dad
And his love is the best.
permalink • reply with quote
1/3/2018 12:32:58 PM

Kelly Dickinson
Posts: 3
This was the first "poem" I ever wrote just a few months ago
permalink • reply with quote
1/6/2018 12:51:48 PM

Lesa Rodden
Posts: 4
What a wonderful poem, I can totally feel your pain here. I can relate also. I love how you put this poemr together. Great job! I am a new poet also. Good luck with your future writing!
permalink • reply with quote
1/29/2018 3:41:42 PM

Nancy Owens
Posts: 1
Kelly, I like the beautiful sentiments expressed in this poem. Any mother would enjoy this poem.

I think the poem could be enhanced by applying punctuation and correcting the punctuation in certain stanzas.

For instance, the two sentences in the first stanza should end with periods, and not question marks.

Other than the punctuation (or the lack thereof ), this poem is a gem. I like it.
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » Be Gentle » A Mothers Love

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software