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12/24/2017 7:21:27 PM barbara barry-nishanian Posts: 3	“ SOMEONE” Searching for Someone Who use to be me Exploring the mirror Praying me again see. Where is that Someone Still searching for the way To gain peace of mind And joy in each day? Know God created The heavens and the earth Made in his image Might, “Someone”, have worth? Barbara Barry-Nishanian 2000 ? copyright edited by bbarrynishanian on 12/24/2017 edited by bbarrynishanian on 12/24/2017 edited by bbarrynishanian on 12/24/2017 -- Barbara Barry-Nishanian How do i contact sponsor of Describe Heaven contest. My wrong poem entered, but is correct on my site, why entered incorrectly? I think I closed out contest with error. Help me enter my poem...Describe Heaven...please
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12/24/2017 7:46:20 PM barbara barry-nishanian Posts: 3	critique content, punctuation anything so I can inprove -- Barbara Barry-Nishanian How do i contact sponsor of Describe Heaven contest. My wrong poem entered, but is correct on my site, why entered incorrectly? I think I closed out contest with error. Help me enter my poem...Describe Heaven...please
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7/31/2018 1:54:50 PM J P Marmaro Posts: 9	Hi there: nice little poem. Second line should read "used to be me"; the main problem is with line 4, which is just wrong grammatically. I infer your meaning is "praying to see me again", and you clearly want to rhyme with "me" in line 2. But I see no way of fitting this exact meaning in and still rhyming and scanning. "Praying I'll see"? "Again may I see"? or some other rhyme entirely-- be, free, flee, glee, agree, plea, sea, we... all might suggest a reworking. As for punctuation, suggestions may be: Searching for Someone Who used to be me: Exploring the mirror, Praying me again see. Where is that Someone Still searching for the way To gain peace of mind And joy in each day? Know God created The heavens and the earth; Made in his image -- Might, “Someone”, have worth? Well done! JP Marmaro
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7/22/2019 5:30:55 PM Julia Thomas-Ficken Posts: 17	praying again it's me I see? Might this "Someone" have worth? & joy in her day? & not sure if I would even use the quotation marks around someone if I used this. edited to add you may find things easier to come to you if you count the syllables to add rhythm I know I do seems to help me. REMEMBER these are just suggestions you asked for edited by G0dD0ll on 7/22/2019
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