Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » Nightfall Harp

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

11/25/2017 10:12:42 PM Vermillion Scythe Posts: 4	Note: This is my greatest work. I want critique on this poem. It is now dark and under the dome there are hands moving inside a home Notes of angelic sound circulate the air wandering beyond walls flying into the city making countless calls Creators of footsteps below the full pearl tread in the alleys hearing musical melodies shout out for them to hark their hearts dance to the hymn coinciding to the tempo in the dark Where is that rhythm coming from There are no signs of the source that show their thumb Stare at the moon, the nightfall harp is blessing the sadsome Out there, a hundred miles far the souls pick up their ear from the bliss dispersing from afar Nightfall harp, where are you Nightfall harp, we hear you, Nightfall harp, we love you Happiness shall now come to pass as the angel sprouts his wings Hand in hand the city joins for a holy choir as their voices wire blazing spirit fire showing love a step higher -- VFS
	• permalink • reply with quote
11/26/2017 1:11:00 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	I read this is a community of Christ in a larger sense. Not a building or even a specific group of people, but in the sense of when "two of you (or more) are gathered together". That said, for me, this is a question of audience. Some readers are looking for a poem to uplift and support them in a greater faith. I am not one to critique on that basis. I look for ambiguity in poems, something to help me make sense of it all (however small). The part I like best is "where is that rhythm coming from?" The poem seems to suggest that if there is "rhythm" then there must be a source. Sorry if I could not be more helpful. Best wishes1
	• permalink • reply with quote