Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/24/2017 2:54:19 PM
Donald Lee Posts: 5
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I chose to follow the road Even though i know not where it goes My thoughts alone the only hope To help my through this life alone I guess i could just let it go But then the end i'll never know.
I wonder if you know Why the world around the road Has changed its tune as i go Maybe that's just how it goes When you think you are alone But the truth is what you hope.
A silhouette becomes a hope And you know i already know That i never really was alone Because you were walking down the road Never knowing where it goes But like me you chose to go
So together here we go Bound together filled with hope Still not knowing where it goes Truthfully i don't care to know We don't even need the road Its enough to not be alone
Now i ask are we alone? Off the beaten path we go Off behind us, gone is the road A life alive that is the hope We cannot be the first to know That the road forever goes
Now we know just how it goes Everyone feels all alone But we’ll tell you what we know Come and rest before you go Eat and let me give you hope You are not alone, just the road.
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11/25/2017 12:45:47 PM
Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49
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In my opinion, there are three reasons to write: self-exploration, sentiments to share among family and friends, or for a wider audience. This seems to me self-revelatory or to be shared among family and friends. For a wider audience, I would be more specific about a real walk on a road. It comes off a bit general. It is always better to show and not tell. However, comparisons to Frost's "The Road Not Taken" would be inevitable. Best wishes!
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11/25/2017 1:53:41 PM
Donald Lee Posts: 5
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Thanks for the input, I'm pretty new to this and that advice makes a lot of sense, and I definitely use it moving forward. Thanks again!
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11/26/2017 1:48:29 PM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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td p { margin-bottom: 0in; }p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 120%; }I chose to follow THEroad Even though i know not where IT goes My thoughts aloneTHE only hope To help my (ME) through this life alone Iguess i could just let IT go But then THE end i'll neverknow.
I wonder if you know Why THE world around THEroad Has changed ITS tune as i go Maybe that'S just how ITgoes When you think you ARE alone But THE truth IS what youhope.
A silhouette becomes a hope And you know ialready know That i never really WAS alone Because you WEREwalking down THE road Never knowing where IT goes But likeme you chose to go
So together here we go Boundtogether filled with hope Still not knowing where ITgoes Truthfully i don't care to know We don't even need THEroad ITS (SIC) enough to not BE alone
Now i ask AREwe alone? Off THE beaten path we go Off behind us, gone ISTHE road A life alive that IS THE hope We cannot BE THEfirst to know That THE road forever goes
Now we knowjust how IT goes Everyone feels all alone But we’ll tellyou what we know Come and rest before you go Eat and let megive you hope You ARE not alone, just THE road.
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