Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/19/2017 5:49:44 PM
Dylan OB
Posts: 2
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@page { margin: 0.79in } p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 120% } (all one stanza, copy/pasted form LibreOffice)
This is the first poem I've written in a long time and it was written fast and there are probably a lot of things wrong with it, so I kept it short.
My blood is boiling
And I am frozen still
Freezing in fire with an available escape
An illusion of choice
Ambition wreaks in the air
But never touches a single hair of mine
It’s not fair
Stuck in place
As nothing but an absolute disgrace
Forever wondering why I’m wandering yet witnessing why every single day
It’s not fair
It’s not okay
edited by IrisK on 9/19/2017
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9/19/2017 8:03:17 PM
Jessica Jones
Posts: 5
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Absolutely beautiful. The only things i notice needing critiquing is the part about freezing in fire and also I'm not sure if you meant to put wrecks instead of reeks. Might've been misspelled or you may have meant to put wrecks. For the freezing in fire(in my most humblest opinion) I would put something like sweltering instead of freezing or scorching, blistering, searing, etc...
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