Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » Criticize me honestly!

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

8/18/2017 10:32:37 PM Elizabeth Schoenfeld Posts: 1	I don’t talk much And when I do I’m cautious Or else I face her touch It’s not a gentle whisper It screams bloody murder Wreaking havoc on my skin I have to hide them The bruises left behind And the baggage from her words If I talk back, it backfires I end up on the floor And if I speak up, I’m scared I’m could die This isn’t a friendship It turned into something different And I can’t ever back out
	• permalink • reply with quote
8/22/2017 12:45:03 PM Dean Wood Posts: 31	Elizabeth, if this poem is true then my only criticism is this: Get some help NOW! You do not have to suffer this kind of abuse. Call a cop, a clergyman, any adult you trust and get help to get out of this relationship. Do it now! As a poem, I am not real good at free verse but it communicates well and flows smoothly. The last line of the 4th stanza needs to read, ". . . I'm scared I could die". God Bless, Dean
	• permalink • reply with quote