Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/8/2017 5:55:32 PM
Sara Nin Posts: 1
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So tell her how your limbs are sore From pulling at my uproar On the floor where we tore Souls that soar, no keeping score Sunburned we lie awake Words unsaid in my heartache Nothing opaque, this is my mistake I knew better than to partake But resist you couldn’t for my sake Lust, and desire my body quakes More and more I give you take Then again you flake, and flake I still taste you thus reserve to hate you Even still I bait you, this is what it is to date you I just want to suffocate you Exhilarate you, intoxicate you, I tolerate you Kiss me now till I deplete While I listen to your heartbeat Don’t mistreat, or be discreet. You should know I wont compete I should retreat, nothing is concrete Delete delete delete delete Memories on my love seat Then again repeat repeat. edited by Inte-girl on 8/8/2017
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8/22/2017 6:11:34 PM
Dean Wood Posts: 31
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This sounds like the lyrics for a rap song. Some great mono-rhyme in these stanzas and internal rhyme to boot! Many poems lose the thought to the rhyme but you stayed true to the message. I enjoyed this. Well done!
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