Poetry Forum
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/9/2017 10:15:50 AM
Carissa Marie Posts: 24
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He fell in love with a painted lady. She moved in mauve, Her limbs sweeping in clouds of gold That broke the monotony of his glass life. Her presence brought hailstorms, Navy rain that streaked her cheeks And stained lips tasting of peaches. She danced in her own supernova, Yards of brilliant bronze hair Filling his mouth, his nose, his ears, More flavor than hue; More scent than shade; More song than any color Her swirling body could produce. When he was with his painted lady, He knew no shades of gray; Her moods were rose and plum and sky, She his lovely painted lady. They tangled beneath stars, Each moment brighter than the last. In the fervor of their love His days faded into months Which streaked into years Until the cool blue morning When his beloved painted lady Released her last bleeding scarlet breath.
((This is one of my personal favorites, of the poetry I've written, and I was curious as to what you guys like or dislike about it. Thanks!))
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5/9/2017 10:43:31 AM
laken smith Posts: 14
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Your poems are beautiful. I sense so much emotion that is put into them. Keep up the good work.
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5/9/2017 12:41:47 PM
Carissa Marie Posts: 24
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your beautiful comment <3
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