Poetry Forum
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1/20/2016 11:13:37 PM
Fullmoon Sway Posts: 4
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Communication.... What's that?
that wondrous
thing where
you move your mouth...
o communication...
don't do that a lot
too doubtful of the
perfect doll structures
in front of me
to undecided
about the fear
In words
hey oh hi
how are you
communication....
painstakingly
the unruly
words that kick
my cranium out
to orbit everyday
(what a mess it is if I do say)
communication
it's the enemy ...
the blackmailer..
that dissented
from ones personal
hell
OOOOOO
communication
communication
communication
where do I begin
u drive me through
pretense fear and vanity
every time I open my
air pipe just to let you out
communication
theres no where to begin
its just the vital part of
reality
speech and fear
my own set of communication
skills that
have just never
began
communication edited by fullmoonsway on 1/20/2016
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1/20/2016 11:37:24 PM
Fullmoon Sway Posts: 4
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plz leave a comment and tell me how to improve it and if you think its a good poem
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5/15/2016 8:39:14 AM
jon best Posts: 4
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hey there, I like your poem. I don't feel qualified enough to say too much about it as its a style that I'm not too familiar with, however I felt that the tense was a little bit off, near the end. I wonder if you perhaps meant: 'Have just never BEGUN Communication.' As opposed to 'began'. edited by jonbest on 5/15/2016
-- More poetry of mine at http://poems.jbestbooks.com
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