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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/24/2015 12:35:38 PM

K.M North
Posts: 97
there ain't no gospel on the radio anymore

and we're all stuck inside during the heat

licking our wounds

and confessing sins that haven't happened yet

this is for you Cherry

come on doll face

lets dance the night away

cause I've got on my best dancing shoes

and you've still got those eyes

and that heart that's filled

with old flames that don't burn much anymore




you chipped a nail

smashing the button on the radio

I broke a bone in my finger

when you got real anxious

I'm probably going to hell

but I've still got faith

that I'll see some of my friends

and mother,

if you're listening

there ain't no gospel on the radio anymore

and I'm living with such sins

that I'm afraid I'll burst into flames

if the winter don't come soon enough




stuck in the closet

in the basement of that girl

who's parents got a divorce last year

we've got nothing left of our souls

but I'm pretty sure we can't just disappear

they're playing music outside

and the shag carpet is hard on the knees

the foreign hands never were all that good

at turning boys into men

but we tried our best

in a few years

we'll smoke cigarettes we rolled ourselves

and drive our parents cars past curfews

but for now there ain't no gospel on the radio anymore

and we don't write letters like we used to

but if I go to hell then darling

please help me go with a smile on my face
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9/25/2015 11:49:07 AM

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
North, capped all your words that shouldn't be in any poem. Bad form dude.
Regards, Bob
Reisenhoffer wrote:
there ain't no gospel on THE radio anymore

and we'RE all stuck inside during THE heat

licking our wounds

and confessing sins THAT haven't happened yet

this IS for you Cherry

come on doll face

LET'S dance the night away

cause I've got on my best dancing shoes

and you'VE still got those eyes

and THAT heart THAT'S filled

with old flames THAT don't burn much anymore




you chipped a nail

smashing THE button on THE radio

I broke a bone in my finger

when you got real anxious

I'M probably going to hell

but I'VE still got faith

THAT I'll see some of my friends

and mother,

if you'RE listening

there ain't no gospel on THE radio anymore

and I'M living with such sins

that I'M afraid I'll burst into flames

if THE winter don't come soon enough




stuck in THE closet

in THE basement of that girl

who'S parents got a divorce last year

we've got nothing left of our souls

but I'M pretty sure we can't just disappear

they'RE playing music outside

and THE shag carpet IS hard on THE knees

the foreign hands never WERE all THAT good

at turning boys into men

but we tried our best

in a few years

we'll smoke cigarettes we rolled ourselves

and drive our parents cars past curfews

but for now there ain't no gospel on THE radio anymore

and we don't write letters like we used to

but if I go to hell then darling

please help me go with a smile on my face
permalink • reply with quote
10/6/2015 12:05:20 PM

K.M North
Posts: 97
"there aint no gospel on radio anymore:?
are you fucking stupid? seriously, I don't comment on the trash that you post. Don't comment on anything I write, how about that? This should be for poets, not so called "teachers" and "critics" that don't know their ass from their elbow. I'm really quite sick of you offering exactly zero to this site and everyone on it. Keep your god awful ideas to yourself, keep your re-writings of famous {and actually good} poetry to yourself. I mean, my god, it's like you're trying to set yourself up for mockery. Haven't you seen that no one here agrees with anything that you have to say and that all you do is bring "poets" and "poetry" down by your half assed assumptions, ignorant ramblings and frankly **** poor writing. find a wall, smash your head into it, and repeat until the blackness comes, then welcome it
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