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Forum Home » High Critique » Something different

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8/30/2015 3:29:52 PM

Shaan Babu
Posts: 6
Hello,

I would really appreciate any and all feedback on this.

Pls. treat each stanza as an individual, none are connected to each other.

Basically, this is one of my Ghazal's English translation and I want to make sure that it delivers the meaning.

thanks a lot!

...................................................................................







Strange am I, that even being an acquainted of love;

My gloominess is not obvious, although I am sad.




Someone is like God, perhaps;

Who can not be seen although he is around.


With the radiance of growth, I grew up in the wilderness

I can not prosper although I am no more than grass.




Illusion of being is erased, but still;

I am not around you even I am nothing but an illusion




You want to rule the mankind, so congrats
A Darvesh is still recognizable even in a well-dressed attire.

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