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8/19/2015 1:03:36 AM Andrew Fitzgerald Posts: 2	My breath was the first to go Stolen by the thieves that have attempted to steal so many others' The thieves that have tempted the honor of the most noble defenders Stolen from me with no preparation and accompanied by immediate deprivation As a white daisy deprives the soil from which it thrives. After, my body It seemed to simply elope into the grasp of the invaders My shell and comfort, with security in tow How willing it surrendered itself to the worthy crusaders As an addict, unwilling to deny itself. Not even my mind could escape the pillagers Unknowingly becoming entangled in the traps Gone without a fight It had become engulfed in a net set by self betrayal As a wondering Salesman, lost in familiar streets. The most surprising, my heart I glanced to see that I was still maintaining And the pump had ceased No longer kicking, lifeless, hopeless Unwilling to lose the battle, it had forfeited the war Stopped before the assailants laid weapons upon it My heart, with pride, refused to be taken As a captain, down with his ship. Alas, it was the prize that was sought Others, casualties. How am I upright? The adrenaline from the assault leaves me lurking Once the rubble is left to fodder and the Kingdom reduced to ruins I crumble. My last thought: Was the skirmish worth denying them their prize Now two parties Crippled and fruitless. edited by Fitz5695 on 8/19/2015
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8/19/2015 4:58:52 PM Glory Winzer Posts: 14	What are you trying to say here? The point, the story, of the poem is totally lost. Please explain more about what is going on.
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8/21/2015 10:02:36 PM Andrew Fitzgerald Posts: 2	Glory Winzer wrote: What are you trying to say here? The point, the story, of the poem is totally lost. Please explain more about what is going on. What I was envisioning was the "attack" of when you fall for someone. Lose you breath in an instant, give up your body to the addiction, your mind betrays you and buys into every word, and your heart withholds and puts up walls. But in this love, you are so defensive and are defending your heart so much that you can't give it to them. They are launching a full attack on you simply to get your heart, and you are overwhelmed by the intensity so you block them out and they leave. Both of you left empty.You realize you loved giving up the other things, but it's too late because you didn't give them the most important piece. I appreciate the feedback, and maybe it's a little too abstract. But that was my thought. edited by Fitz5695 on 8/21/2015
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