You have an ad blocker! We understand, but...

PoetrySoup is a small privately owned website. Our means of support comes from advertising revenue. We want to keep PoetrySoup alive, make it better, and keep it free. Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on PoetrySoup. See how to enable ads while keeping your ad blocker active. Also, did you know you can become a PoetrySoup Lifetime Premium Member and block ads forever...while getting many more great features. Take a look! Thank you!
Get Your Premium Membership

Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » Your words... I hate your words!!!

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/8/2011 1:16:59 AM

This is the 3rd poem i've ever written, just started. Pick it apart, good, bad and the ugly... plz! thx

listen to the words

of this reality

chirps from the birds

of my own sancity

i feel provoked

with them mocking

i don't feel stoked

but sit back rocking

i hate the feeling

the anger i encounter

so hard fought dealing

like an out of towner

i grit my teeth

and close my eyes

i am beneath

these white lies

they think they're smart

but seen right thru

a cold bloody heart

i'll make due

i'll show them honesty

you'll never see

what is untrusty

is you to me

again i think

of why they want this

but brought down to ink

is how it is

the only way to deal

of the hand i've been dealt

just hope to heal

this hell i've felt
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » Your words... I hate your words!!!

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software