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Forum Home » High Critique » The Great Puppeteer

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
4/23/2015 2:32:41 PM

Wally Flint
Posts: 9
Would love to hear comments on this poem.

The Great Puppeteer

The CEO wore a six hundred dollar wool-silk blended suit
and he stroked his tie as he counted his loot
10 million for me
10 million for my stockholders if you please
and that leaves
7 dollars for my employees

leaning back in his leather chair
he muses
thinking of the people he uses
we’ve got to stop raising minimum wage
if we’re to go on living in this golden age

the great puppeteer
he knows he’s got a good thing going here

so with a little hocus pocus
he gets his employees to focus
on poor people who live in despair
he gets them complaining about people on welfare

it’s called divide and conquer said he
you see
the poor are so naive
they’ll never see the card I have up my sleeve
I’ll get them fighting over the scraps I leave
and they won’t even notice
I’m having a feast no one would believe!






See more of my stuff at:




www.poetrysoup.com/me/wallyflint
edited by wallyflint on 4/23/2015
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4/23/2015 4:11:08 PM

K.M North
Posts: 97
As a critique at the last verse I would change up the part "it's called divide and conquer said he, you see". To me it just reads funny. I know you were going for a whole rhyming scheme at the end but it just reads funny. As far as the overall poem it's not really my thing. I prefer things that feature emotion. Everyone knows big business players are greedy. They'd even admit it themselves. But yeah, it's not bad for what it is. Just not my thing, for a critique I'd just change that part I mentioned-Kevin
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