Poetry Forum
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1/7/2015 1:46:54 PM
Sarah Muldoon Posts: 2
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I feel sane in a mad world How I wish to be mad like the others I want to hide under the covers And pretend that I am free
My logic is chaotic here Where fear is power and kindness is rare I have no place in such a place This is the torment I face
I feel myself becoming distant I want no association with this tyrant I want no ties to dead environments I want to thrive to not feel guilt for being alive
Because I do Its either there's not enough food Or not enough room but I have both And so many don't
Our lives and our meanings Have become assets of greed we are no longer the gardeners we are the weeds edited by sarahm1994 on 1/7/2015
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1/22/2015 1:15:32 PM
Jaycee Cervenka Posts: 5
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Overall well written. Maybe try changing S2 Ln 3 to "no room in such a place" so the word is not repeated within the line.
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