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10/15/2014 6:35:06 AM BE Bailey Posts: 3	I only started writing poems three years ago and I would like to know what you guys think of this. Any criticism welcome. Never stop hoping and believing This is a poem 'bout those moments when you've had enough and it feel like you get no answer from above I know you're not where you wanna be what the future hold you cannot see It is all about hoping and believing that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming I know what you go through is frustrating as well and those crazy days u feel locked in a cell The anger, frustration, the "whatever I'm done"... and you think you will never shout "oh yes I won" Wanting to give up "who cares anyway?" "Nothing was great bout this day" you say but never my dear stop hoping and believing that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming You're strong and you will live your dream even though impossible now it seem Wait on God's time, He will give you the best 'cause God and I know you deserve nothing less Smile be positive and always be you tell yourself "with all negative I'm through" And NEVER EVER stop hoping and believing that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014
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10/18/2014 3:43:53 AM Shawn Hall Posts: 2	This seems to be more in the form of a song, rather than a straightforward poem. The stanzas are a mixture of prose and rhyme. I am able to feel the rhythm in some sections--with metered verse--but not in others. And for the most part, consistency is everything. You need either to follow a rhyming scheme, or as with prose, you may breakout into whatever feels right; usually allowing the story line to suggest line breaks and stanza length. And then, right in between (although some would argue differently!), there is free verse, which is closer to what you were actually doing, based on what you have here, minus that all-important consistency. The point being that, if you find a particular style that you want to try or to repeat, try to follow that style all the way through in a single write. There are people who are able to mix styles (for better or worse), but these people are generally very accomplished writers who have had years of practice in which to perfect their art. And, arguably, you will know an accomplished writer when you see one. The reason being that their work just seems to flow almost effortlessly on the page, off the page, and straight into your heart or your consciousness. But I promise you, it took a long time, and an enormous amount of work for their "effortless" writing to get to that point. And they almost assuredly had help getting there...whether they choose to admit it, or not. Subsequently, that's where a good thesaurus, a friend who is a writer (either where you live, or someone whose style, intelligence and writing ability you admire, and with whom you have become acquainted online), to bounce ideas off of and to use as a proof-reader/editor, and of course, practice, practice, practice. However, I promise you one thing: if you keep at it, and do as I have suggested, you will almost certainly get much better, faster. When it comes to writing, hard work shows both early and often. But whatever you do, do not give up! You already have one of the hardest parts down pat. And that is to be brave enough, not only to offer your work up to the world, but even more so, to offer it up to the herd of jackals who would happily tear it apart for you to show you what you are doing wrong! Ahem Just kidding! Anyhow, good write! Keep up the hard work and you'll go places! Shawn "Ace" H. edited by AceHall on 10/18/2014
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