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Forum Home » High Critique » shadows in candlelight

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/30/2010 2:18:04 AM

Eiken Laan
Posts: 10
Feeble and hunched over

his movement stumbles

as shuffling feet echo

in the shadows

of a candle-lit

forgotten church

as the old priest

performs his sacred rituals

to a few faithful followers







A commitment to the cloth

harbourer of hidden secrets

an unclaimed inheritance

no longer passed on

the last remaining elders

keepers of unwanted wisdom

take their secrets

to the grave
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1/7/2011 4:35:10 AM

Eiken Laan
Posts: 10
I would really appreciate comments please.
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Forum Home » High Critique » shadows in candlelight






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