Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/28/2010 6:16:14 AM
Crystal Wilkins Posts: 1
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I sit in a coffee shop but I'm not there, not really
To the faces around me its just an empty chair, empty
The world is large but it's me alone, just me
One individual, always standing alone
I am closed off, the world is not there, not for me
voice talk to me, hold no meaning for me, none
My mind is my prison, my life just for me
I am a walking corpse, with no place in the sun, no none
Nobody can reach me, I am trapped under ice, alone
Family and friends are no longer here, they are gone, just gone
No life, no stress, no pressure, nothing
Through life, though I have none, I am floating
Floating....
just...
floating...
away.
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12/29/2010 11:04:00 AM
Eiken Laan Posts: 10
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Hi, I liked this poem, very spiritual, dreamy, lofty thoughts with a depth of loneliness that you chose, the mind a prison, a walking corpse, closed off to the world. The whole idea of hibernation comes to mind where there would be no worries, no stress, no thoughts, just peace and sleep but under ice makes it less appealing, just my thoughts. A lovely write and read.
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