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Forum Home » High Critique » The Saver

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/14/2010 12:31:00 PM

Erica Jane Smith
Posts: 1
I greatly appreciate any feedback... thanks!

"The Saver"

I was sincere.
And you
kissed my eyes like I was your favorite Lego-
too precious to throw
into the garage sale.
Or a creepy crawler you keep between the mattress
and box spring of your bed
because the
colors of this
worm bring you
closer to God.

Wrap me in
a balloon
and allow the car window to suck me into space-
too fragile for earth
storms and war life.
Or the top drawer where you keep your socks
and underwear, boxer briefs
where I
can nestle softly
in the folds of
your sacred parts.
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12/28/2010 3:48:36 AM

Eiken Laan
Posts: 10
I really like this poem, wonderfully crafted and a very enjoyable read.
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