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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

11/11/2010 6:23:24 AM valeria iliadou Posts: 13	''Poetry is the shelter that we envy''. These golden words deeply carved the years. Time will come back To give our words a peak To confirm all those dreams Resting in the dark. Poetry is the truth that kills The truth that brings us to the world Again. Signs of time will return To justify prayers And deliver it's echo to us. A hope that we gained Melting our blood with our fears. Each line can set our soul free As a key Which mathches exactly to the gate Of our prison. When we hold tight the hands of each poem Like we hold the hands of our children We walk through a fiery passage To reach the other side Where we can detect our silences And tame the fire along with the smoke. In this shelter we form a circle Step by step From our legs Stone by stone From our hands We define the borders We prepare our guns For peace For peace. And poetry screams In front of our sealed windows In front of our seqaled desires Calling us to feel The divine untouchable truth. It is the answer To the pain of the history To the lost words that left waiting in our dark bottom To the feelings that we betrayed With a kiss.
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11/13/2010 10:14:44 AM HONESTY OIMBO Posts: 3	you are trying to define poetry by alluding to philosophy, nature and seemingly sociology and the human passions.The form elements such as language marry the structure to produce a poem that can be rated subtle.but i feel that the third last line does not really fit to the overall moving rhythm of the poem; it does not work for me at all, IT spoils the whole poem.the third last line is imposed on the poem because it can be totally ignored and still the meaning of the poem preserved. edited by bwoma on 11/15/2010 -- hon
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11/15/2010 1:10:12 AM Julie Conerly Posts: 3	It rambles too much for me...About half way through my mind was wandering. A poem should have a more defined theme or story and reach out and grab the reader.
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