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Forum Home » High Critique » Request for HARD-CORE CRITIQUE

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/27/2010 12:43:56 AM

Grace EunSong Lee
Posts: 1
Here's my poem, give me all the harsh critiques you've got!

______

Life. Lights.


even the lights
they live

a bike skims the riverbank
fish leap, catch the sunlight
like bursts of laughter
above the morning water

noon. hot summer
children are learning to sing
golden shafts slip through
open church roofs

an empty stone bridge
people returning home, carrying
things. the ferries are lighting
up for the night tours

streetlamps oil lamps
along the paths and into homes
sky bursting, spilling stars
into every child’s dream

See
even the lights
They live.

______

Will look forward to constructive feedback!
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