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10/15/2010 11:30:18 PM tara jennings Posts: 12	I pray words can come to me one day -Without the lingering of sorrow and regret. That one day I can trust and hope and pray -Without remembering our woes. I pray one day my soul to cleanse To be awashed anew again But today my lord I ache to know… These words are but the shell Of faith we used to know. Why do I speak to thee? When inside these vows are dead to me. How do I find that long-lost love? The humility and honor to know it’s true. I can not start this book again, And skip the pages I’d rather not see. I can not erase the lines That should never have to be . So tell me Lord, how to start a different book. Define that word “faith”, so I can comprehend this new chapter. Help me rember how faith and hope inspires- And how belief creates the miracles worth living. edited by tara jennings on 10/22/2010
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10/15/2010 11:31:50 PM tara jennings Posts: 12	Could a few people give me critique to improve my writing organization, style? I have a hard time pulling the meaning of what I'm saying so that the essence of the truth I want heard is actually understood
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10/22/2010 12:03:03 AM tara jennings Posts: 12	Okay I am a little hurt. When I started soup I wanted fellowship, critique, a sense that somebody in the world understands me. The first comments and contest I placed in made me like giddy happy. Then I realised all the comments were generic comments that are posted every where because every one here is trying for "points". So I stopped getting happy like that and was just glad some body read my words. Then I found this forum and thought "Ah ha! here is a place I can find true writing philosophy and the guidance I need to improve the structure of wording." But no, No one has felt the need to help me. In fact I think half of the "number of reads" is from checking a couple time a day myself to see if some one has. In fact, I did not see many comments on any bodies post here on the forum. I thought soup was a great way to share a part of myself that I am too shy to share in person and now I am starting to think it's like the other on line social sites and is based on "social status" and not art work. edited by tara jennings on 10/22/2010
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10/24/2010 4:33:04 PM Paula Swanson Posts: 22	tara jennings wrote: Okay I am a little hurt. When I started soup I wanted fellowship, critique, a sense that somebody in the world understands me. The first comments and contest I placed in made me like giddy happy. Then I realised all the comments were generic comments that are posted every where because every one here is trying for "points". So I stopped getting happy like that and was just glad some body read my words. Then I found this forum and thought "Ah ha! here is a place I can find true writing philosophy and the guidance I need to improve the structure of wording." But no, No one has felt the need to help me. In fact I think half of the "number of reads" is from checking a couple time a day myself to see if some one has. In fact, I did not see many comments on any bodies post here on the forum. I thought soup was a great way to share a part of myself that I am too shy to share in person and now I am starting to think it's like the other on line social sites and is based on "social status" and not art work. edited by tara jennings on 10/22/2010
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10/24/2010 4:38:57 PM Paula Swanson Posts: 22	Hi Tara. Sorry you are feeling left out. I understand completely what you mean about generic comments. I recelive them too. But, I keep plugging away. The way to get comments on your poetry, is to also comment on others poetry. Kind of a tit for tat thing. I mmyself have very little computer time each day. I am usually busy posting a poem for comments or for a contest. The contests are great ways to learn. I have learned more about forms and style through the contests than I ever knew before. When I comment, it is on how the poem made me feel. How I hold it up to the light and see what it offers me. I will be looking for your poems and will leave REAL comments for you. Regarding critique. I am the last person to offer advice or critique. As I tend to wander all over the poetic forms and puncutation debate of using it or not. So for now, I hope my comments on your work will suffice. Your friend in poetry~~~Paula
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11/6/2010 5:49:02 AM Craig Watson Posts: 4	I like it, big religious under-tow to the whole thing.. is it love that's destroyed your faith? Reads that way. You wanna move forward without losing your past.. Nice. It's kinda rushed at the end, I like the honest pleading to find that faith that you used to have.. I'd mention the fact that love and faith are always at odds (For me anyway) But you've hit the nail on the head with the fact that belief is what creates the beauty against these odds.
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11/8/2010 9:49:46 AM Jancarl Campi Posts: 9	Hi! I am new here at Poetry Soup and get lost along th ewat so many times. I like giving critiques on poetry, but i do better in person than on line.Any way, I will try. There is a religious feeling in your poem here. Is it a love that is destroying your faith? I am confused here? We all do lose faith at times, but regain it again. I wish i could help but I am at a loss here. I wish you well in your writing. I suggest read o†her poets (other than here) that write in a style and gender which you like. Good Luck Jancarl, C.
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