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8/29/2013 9:00:32 AM Simoriah Hairomis Posts: 1	when you're fast asleep and thoughts creep into your head and flood your brain until it weeps and your mind descends dark and deep into a land of dead end worlds where the only way out is the way you came in but the road is way too steep and your feet are made of lead and every smile is just pretend and nothing is to be believed and you're going off the deep end bleeding rivers of hatred into a pool of shallow deceit where every thought is colored red and every shade of black completes every nightmare ever conceived born of blood-stained dreams within dreams where that person you used to be is falling into skies of silent screams and contemplating death all the while wishing to be alive again
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8/30/2013 3:42:43 PM scott thirtyseven Posts: 13	Nice topic. I enjoyed this read well done. But I'd be cautious about all the "and's", three of your first four lines start with "and". You could try "Flooding..." instead of "and flood...".
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