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Forum Home » High Critique » BOILING RED

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/25/2013 9:52:18 AM

Sharon Morken
Posts: 133
Each limb holds on by a thread

Tolerance barometer...BOILING RED

Toss, Turn, nightmare becomes reality

Seems like an unrealistic brutality




Impulses in brain

Interrupted by worry

Furry over defeat

They're not even sorry




Nerves like popcorn

Arguments explode

Break out of sight

Much more to this road




Wipe my cheeks

Tear ducts on their knees

My fight far from over

I pray god, help me please...
edited by svlynn18 on 3/28/2013
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3/27/2013 1:35:23 AM

Dane Leong
Posts: 4
Tear ducks or Tear ducts? I can really feel your emotion throughout the poem. I also appreciated how you don't really need to pause when you read the poem like you do with most. Overall I thought the quality was consistent. Very Good!
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3/28/2013 3:08:48 AM

Sharon Morken
Posts: 133
TheDane wrote:
Tear ducks or Tear ducts? I can really feel your emotion throughout the poem. I also appreciated how you don't really need to pause when you read the poem like you do with most. Overall I thought the quality was consistent. Very Good!




ducts been corrected. Thank you!
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