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Forum Home » High Critique » The Year of the Turtle

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/14/2013 10:35:11 AM

Eric Ashford
Posts: 1

We carried it home in a salty pail;
the bones of a monster.

Freddy said it was alien,
his dad had seen their ships
shinning like sixpences
in the sky.

When we tipped the bucket,
seawater and bones slopped.
For a moment
the loosely strung carcass swam.

I wondered if it was a small mermaid,
or a mermaid's daughter.
Freddy poked it with his foot.

Look at its head” he said,
it’s got no teeth."

That settled it. We agreed
it was a drowned space kid.

That night
I dreamed it's leathery beak
opened and sang of green pools,
in drowned stars.




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edited by sparkydashforth on 3/14/2013
edited by sparkydashforth on 3/14/2013
edited by sparkydashforth on 3/14/2013
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