Poetry Forum
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/10/2013 9:48:40 AM
Kyle Maples Posts: 4
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This is my first Shakespearean Sonnet, so let me know what you think!
Here is he stuck, within an icy skull. His cooling core yearns for the warmth of sun. He sits and sees the snowflakes blend and dull The rocky walls that trap the frozen one. Does he succumb to numbing apathy, Or fight winter, a battle for the daft? December flowers wilt like his decree To break the walls with fists and stabbing shafts. His shaking fists make weapons hard to wield. The beating turns his wrists to rigid casts. A golden ray leaks through the wall that shields And gives a glimpse of brighter sunshines past. Always his arms grow weak, his strength gives way, But still he tries again another day.
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3/14/2013 3:07:37 PM
Jay Loveless Posts: 3
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First of all, this website has changed dramatically and I feel we should have a guide to all the new things given. That of course is only my own rambling and has nothing to do with your sonnet. I think you did brilliantly well, especially since you stated that you are a beginner. However, I feel it could go on. Don't stop there, let your thoughts run on.
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