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Forum Home » Be Gentle » Wilted Rose

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/2/2012 11:20:11 PM

Karlin K. Jensen
Posts: 8
It was something beautiful,
like a quickly budding rose.
We found it among the thorns,
struggling to reach the sunlight.
We gave the flower so much care
with soil and shade and gentleness.
We watered the flower, so happily,
almost too happily, too enthusiastic.
We were a whirlwind, destructive
despite all our best intentions.
I think that the flower drowned.
We just used too much water,
and the flower quickly faded.
We killed it.
We, together, now have no purpose.
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12/17/2012 7:03:15 AM

Nina Mindova
Posts: 4
KarlinKJ wrote:
It was something beautiful,
like a quickly budding rose.
We found it among the thorns,
struggling to reach the sunlight.
We gave the flower so much care
with soil and shade and gentleness.
We watered the flower, so happily,
almost too happily, too enthusiastic.
We were a whirlwind, destructive
despite all our best intentions.
I think that the flower drowned.
We just used too much water,
and the flower quickly faded.
We killed it.
We, together, now have no purpose.
permalink • reply with quote
12/17/2012 7:04:06 AM

Nina Mindova
Posts: 4
hello.Nice to meet you. I'm poetess from Bulgaria.Sell canvases.
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12/21/2012 12:01:26 PM

Caitlin Dwinnell
Posts: 4
I like the poem! It was nice and told simple story, but held so much more underneath.
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