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Forum Home » High Critique » Butterfly

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/26/2012 7:38:31 PM

Justin Benassi
Posts: 4
It was on the beat of butterfly wings,
We became torn (micro-emotion fibers worn),
Like pages from a discarded journal,
Always said we knew what we were doing,
Until all that we did was done,
I thought that we grew yet
I'm still just a caterpillar waiting to cocoon,
But I don't know how to do it (it was supposed to be a natural thing),
I hear the gentle beat of butterfly wings above me,
Its simple life a distant disaster,
A record of things ignored (so small, can't be my fault),
Someone's bad karma.
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