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Forum Home » High Critique » Devil's Roar-I made some adjustments

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/6/2012 8:54:37 PM

Sharon Morken
Posts: 133
Talking in the kitchen,
Family is sitting on the counter jokingaround,
One of us feels singled out,
From the counter pulls he you off andyour head meets the grout,

Suddenly you get up, start laughing,and the rest join.
You become possessed and stab him inthe back,
First can't tell what with butsomething with a point,
Suddenly we all become victims ofattack,
You strike over and over until untilhe's on the floor,
You do an uncanny impersonation of thedevil as you roar

Environment has changed and we'resurrounded by strangers,
They had come to witness a comedy showbut now they're in danger,
They all scatter and run for theirlives,
Escaping into fake staircases, walls, afew run just running no where in strides,

Somehow I just stand there, watch ithappen,
No fear in me that I may become part ofthis,
I tell myself I need this info for thetherapist,
No fear that I may be at risk,
Witnessing a demonic demonstration,
You want loved ones to feelintimidation.

Then I woke up..
Glad my reality doesn't get me allchoked up
Childhood memories can be brutal and seem somewhat Faux
I'm learning more and more I have ahard time letting them go
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