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Forum Home » High Critique » prose?

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/15/2012 5:26:09 PM

dave archuletta
Posts: 10
Adoption is, or is it not? …these beautiful spring roses, the chosen from a colorful garden of trust. Yet, from where each cut stem lay in angelic caretaker's worthily hands, now by appointment all shown on pedestals and as if heaven sent. Near Godliness are they - these angels loosed amidst our humanity, each searching for pinks and blues of human spillage. Delicately they assist society in the dredge of waiting collection ponds, pools that gleamingly mirror you and I and from where memory comes familiar siren-like cries of which, now link our distant lost or the coldly not in want…

Adoption is, or is it not? …these beautiful water lilys that float so serenely above an ever skimming conscience of a God-fearing nation; this polarized complacency so sweet of mesmerizing shimmer and without inkling of shame, all innocence of eyes fail to see transparency, as each persue cannot pierce the murkily veiled mire that hides just below a given watery reflection, and where trails this triad’s tangled web that will soon unravel singular - to root long waited consequence…

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David Archuletta
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9/15/2012 5:26:37 PM

dave archuletta
Posts: 10
this is not an attack

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David Archuletta
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