Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » Mona Lisa

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

1/21/2024 8:13:05 AM

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294

Mona Lisa
*****
Viale Niccolo on her right
Boboli Gardens on her left
the woman of subtle beauty
lays her hands down to rest

the painter gives her words
his frustration evident
“...asked you to keep your hands
laying by your side...,” he said

she smiled in appreciation
of emotions she had brought
to the surface of the man
who no one else had mocked

“....you fool, you cannot tell me
what to do here in my life
I am not your concubine,
neither am I your wife....”

he fumed at this sign
of bravery on her part
the chaotic situation
brought him quickly to a stop

slamming down the painter's brush
not motivated to continue on
he stomped out of the room
to walk quietly in the garden

she touched his hand so gently
and kissed him on the neck
she whispered softly in his ear
“....you are such an impulsive man..

you have no thoughts for others
concentrate only on your task
you need to feel emotions that
can be laid down
with your colored paints

else, you'll be only one of many
with talents large and small
to freeze emotions fully
takes bravado and fierce gall

so, dear let us return
to the setting you have made
and put into your painting
that wild internal rage..."

p { line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 0.1in; background: transparent }a:link { color: #000080; text-decoration: underline }

• permalink • reply with quote