TALKING TO MYSELF
A Blog by Len Kleeman
I talk to myself. Not long conversations, but short sentences or just one or a few words. When questioned, I tell the inquisitor, " I like to talk to intelligent people." Sometimes they get it and sometimes they don't. To get more exposure, I joined Mensa (yes, I qualified) but did not find the social graces that I desired. So, after 15 years, I left that elitist organization. Now I find that talking to myself gets better social results.
I even talk to other automobile drivers as they cut in front of me, run through red lights or stop signs, or do other stupid driving tricks like blowing their horns before the traffic light completely changes. Of course, my conversations with them consist mainly of only one or two words such as, "You stupid ass!" or "Where did you get your license?" They don't usually answer me because they can't hear me. I'm glad though because with all the road rage going on now they may try to get even with me if I curse at them with words that I won't quote here.
I also talk back to the TV set, particularly after the boring, incomprehensible, repetitive, stupid commercials that, when combined, take up more time than the show they are sponsoring. I could just tape the shows I want and then skip the commercials but that takes too much effort. It is easier just to talk back to them and raise hell. In particular, I hate the pharmaceutical commercials that include death as one of the side effects and then advise you to let them (or the doctor) know if that happens. I certainly hope that I could do that.
Some shows are just as ridiculous and deserve some talking to. If they could hear me maybe they wouldn't be such bad shows. But, I don't watch much television anymore because no one wants to listen to me. I watch mainly news shows and documentaries which don't require much talking back to. I also watch the ballgames and, boy, can I talk back to them.
The one thing I refuse to do is have debates with myself or answer my questions, if I have any. It is not good to answer your own questions. If I ask myself, "Why did I do that?" or "Why did I come here?" I just don't want to answer. I try to make everything declarative rather than interrogative. It is better for my health.
I used to be a quiet guy. But, I got old, my wife of over 50 years passed away, my arthritis hurts, my spine is full of herniated disks, my left foot flops, and I get lonely. So, I find it amusing and healthy to talk to myself (or to the TV). It is also strangely funny because I have really done that all my life.
As I said once before, I am not crazy. I just like writing crazy things - and talking to intelligent people.