Ancient History part 2 - Joann Grisetti's Blog

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Ancient History part 2

Blog Posted:9/3/2012 9:59:00 AM
Here are spome more of the test answers that we pass around at school each year. this sort of thing helps us remember why we are teachers - to overcome ignorance.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

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Date: 9/4/2012 3:17:00 PM
LOL, had a good laugh here - the Shakespeare one is pricesless
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Date: 9/4/2012 1:47:00 PM
I taught 8th grade (13-14 yr olds) who would write an essayon their favorite restaurant: McDonalds because of the toys they could get. These are the same kids who are having sex and get caught at school with drugs, guns and knives and alcohol.
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Date: 9/3/2012 9:15:00 PM
hahaha. hard to believe these are for real. Maybe some pranksters deliberately gave these funny answers.
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Date: 9/3/2012 5:14:00 PM
are thesze real answer LOL or did the teachers make them up for fun? Light & Love
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Date: 9/3/2012 2:50:00 PM
gawwd, joann... what a gas, shakespeare having hysterectomies,and cervantes losing his don quixote passion!... grreat stuff!..:)
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Date: 9/3/2012 12:43:00 PM
ha,,,Thank you Joann,, always making smiles...xox~pd
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Date: 9/3/2012 11:00:00 AM
hey, Joann, want to get back to these later, as well as Cyndi's story. I used my short time here to see poems and post a poem. So I'll be gone probably till tomorrow. Thanks for visiting my blog. See ya later, my friend!
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Date: 9/3/2012 10:05:00 AM
Number 218 reminds me of a restaurant my husband and used to frequent in Cairo, called Don Quixote, but pronounced Donkey Shot by the locals. Great food, though.
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