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Deborah Guzzi writes full time. Her third book, The Hurricane is available through Prolific Press. https://prolificpress.com/bookstore/prolific-books-c-12/the-hurricane-by-deborah-guzzi-p-151.html Her poetry appears in Allegro, Artificium, Shooter, & The Foxglove Journal in the UK, Subterranean Blue, Existere, The Ekphrastic Review, Scarlet Leaf Review & Subterranean Blue Poetry, Canada - Tincture, Australia - mgv2>publishing, France Cha: Asian Review, China - Vine Leaves Literary Journal, Australia - The Scarlet Leaf Review - Greece, Ribbons, pioneertown, Sounding Review, Bacopa Literary Review, The Aurorean, Liquid Imagination, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine & others in the USA. 


A Funny Thing Happened

Blog Posted:2/27/2011 5:26:00 PM
 

 

 Old People

Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me".
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"


 

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: To win the no-bell prize.



  

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says... 
“Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

So tell me a funny joke???

 

 

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Date: 3/2/2011 11:52:00 AM
Mrs Bucket called her husband Richi,'Richi,hon,somethin's wrong with my iron,can you fix it,pleease?Richard answered ,"darlin,i'm sorry ,i'm not an electrician"!moments later Mrs bucket called again,"Ritchie,dear,those plants need watering,and i'm so busy,Can you water the plants pleease?Ritchie answered,"My darlin,sweet dumplin,i'm sorry,i'm not a gardener",with that he sneeked away to the pub for a pint.He returned hours later,to find the plants watered and Mrs bucket ironin his shirt."Ow dear,did you fix that he asked?","No honey,she replied,Peter,our neighbour offered to help"."Did you pay him?"he asked."Ow he didn't want money,he asked for a hearty pie,or me sleepin with him",she replied."Of course you baked him a delicious pie",Ritchie answered."OWW,OW Honey,i'm sorry,but i'm not a baker" was her reply :)
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Date: 3/1/2011 5:40:00 PM
LOL 3 ducks went swimmin in a pond, they got arrest for blowing bubbles, the first ones name was Quake [so he told the judge!]and he got arrested for blowing bubbles! Then the second one was brought in "What's your name said the judge Quack, Quack the second duck said. Why were you arrested? Same as him, the duck said. The cops hauled in the 3rd duck and the judge said I suppose your name is Quack Quack Quack, no the duck said, my name is Bubbles ;)
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Date: 3/1/2011 9:15:00 AM
Seen on a senior bumper sticker "At my age, gettin' any means "Sleep."
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Date: 2/28/2011 7:13:00 AM
Hi Debbie, While I was bathing Noah this morning, I preped him on the word play; "liver and Cheese" in your blog, and then told him that you left a funny joke about the dogs. He, as well as myself, enjoyed the humor very much ! And we liked the "No-bell" joke as well ! He is up-to-par on the Nobel Prizes; hearing my desires to recieve one, some day. Thanx for brightening our day this morning Deb ! much love, james
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Date: 2/28/2011 6:19:00 AM
thankxx for some early morning humor Debbie .. great way to begin a new day and new week luv..
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Date: 2/28/2011 5:17:00 AM
geeez, i need a laugh!! here goes: man in a bar: "hi, you look gorgeous! what's your sign??" pretty chick: "can't you read? BACK OFF, LOSER!.."
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Date: 2/28/2011 5:00:00 AM
Yes GO Chris [he knows I'm in the dumps, he's trying to cheer me up] the dog one took me a minute to get LOL!
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Date: 2/27/2011 11:35:00 PM
thanks Debbie for this fun blog :) gosh my mind's still mush so no joke comes to mind? I see Chris down there is on another joke roll, some I haven't heard before ---hahaha Andrea you are right, Chris should start his own joke blog & I enjoyed your Santa joke too! Gosh so now I am growing a beard? O_o
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Date: 2/27/2011 10:43:00 PM
A quickie one: The four Santa Claus stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) you don't believe in him. 3) You ARE Santa Claus and finally 4) You look like him.
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Date: 2/27/2011 10:39:00 PM
Geez, Chris here ought to just make his own blog of jokes, easier to read them that way! I mucho enjoyed yours AND chris's and I had actually heard almost all of them already! I have some really good ones but some of them require sound effects, etc. Too many details to write them here also! Cute blog,Deb.
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