As Much As I
As much as I like you, I must admit
If your mental stability’s a little of book
I’m not going to lie, I might have to steer clear.
I have reason to believe it’s an innate primordial fear.
Now I suppose what you’re thinking is, ‘she’s kind of a bitch’
but hang on a minute, let me make this pitch.
I have a hero complex. I just have to help.
I’ve been this way since a child, I can’t back out.
If someone can be ‘saved’, (I know that sounds pretentious)
I’ll do what I can, you can call me self-righteous.
But now I’ve backed down, I no longer see myself as brave.
Mental illness scares me. I buckle, I cave.
Because what can I do? I have no clue how to assist.
I tried before a few times but they always resist.
I don’t think I can empathise in the right way.
They tell me to stay, then they push me away.
I stuck my neck out on the line for those in pain,
I tried to do it again and again.
So right now, I apologise that I’m scared of this disease.
The people dealing with it are probably a lot braver than me.
As much as I like you, my fear is strong.
I try I really do, but it feels all wrong.
It pulls me back several gears,
But what’s the point of life, if not to get over your fears.
Copyright © Sofia Buchanan | Year Posted 2017
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