As Much As I

As much as I like you, I must admit If your mental stability’s a little of book I’m not going to lie, I might have to steer clear. I have reason to believe it’s an innate primordial fear. Now I suppose what you’re thinking is, ‘she’s kind of a *****’ but hang on a minute, let me make this pitch. I have a hero complex. I just have to help. I’ve been this way since a child, I can’t back out. If someone can be ‘saved’, (I know that sounds pretentious) I’ll do what I can, you can call me self-righteous. But now I’ve backed down, I no longer see myself as brave. Mental illness scares me. I buckle, I cave. Because what can I do? I have no clue how to assist. I tried before a few times but they always resist. I don’t think I can empathise in the right way. They tell me to stay, then they push me away. I stuck my neck out on the line for those in pain, I tried to do it again and again. So right now, I apologise that I’m scared of this disease. The people dealing with it are probably a lot braver than me. As much as I like you, my fear is strong. I try I really do, but it feels all wrong. It pulls me back several gears, But what’s the point of life, if not to get over your fears.