The War In My Head
I feel as if I made it so far
But I still can’t see the end
Every step fixes and breaks my heart
I’m losing hope, friend
I’m stuck in this cage in my head
Trapped with anxiety and depression
I don’t know how, but I need to leave
I’m waiting because I know someone has the key
But as I lay my head down on my pillow
As my tears and my fears begin to grow
I feel a war start in my head
A war you’ve never faced, one that wants me dead
You don’t know what i’m thinking
So hush your lips and stop assuming
You can’t imagine what it takes
To defeat these thoughts so I don’t break
These demons whisper to me in bed
Words delicately laced in hatred
These spirits drag into a sea of darkness
I search for a way out, as I'm surrounded with nothingness
I sink until I hit the floor
I crash hard, with blood stains on the door
Deciding if the blood is mine or if it’s yours
I pace my mind, back and forth
One half of my mind is joyful and flying
The other one is miserably dying
I wonder if the latter is trying
Because if I try harder, maybe I'll stop crying
The days have all been blurry to me
My face blinded by the burning water of the sea
They say it gets better when the night ends
But when does the sun rise and the peace begin?
The sky was painted black by the moon
She was leeching off light from the sun, too
Envious of the sun's power, she killed our minds
Causing the stars to die and darkness to unwind
Shoving words of hatred down our throats
The sun is whom the moon approached
They fought a bloody fight, leaving one to die
Yet the end is different in everyone's mind
I am the sun
I need to fight, yet I run
Showing the courage of a feeble doe
I let the moon's evil power grow
I run away from the pain I face
Yet I trip on sharp rocks, and my heart breaks
I fall down on the floor, the blood on the door
I'm telling you, I just can't do this anymore
But I put on a smile
I wear a mask for a while
Because if I wear the most desired face
Maybe then something big will change
If I wear the sunshine that I hide behind
Real sunshine is what I will find
If I learn the whispers of the wind
The wind will whisper my name again
Copyright © Sianna Knight | Year Posted 2017
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