The War In My Head

I feel as if I made it so far
 But I still can’t see the end
Every step fixes and breaks my heart
I’m losing hope, friend
I’m stuck in this cage in my head
Trapped with anxiety and depression
I don’t know how, but I need to leave
I’m waiting because I know someone has the key
But as I lay my head down on my pillow
As my tears and my fears begin to grow
I feel a war start in my head
A war you’ve never faced, one that wants me dead
You don’t know what i’m thinking
So hush your lips and stop assuming
You can’t imagine what it takes
To defeat these thoughts so I don’t break
These demons whisper to me in bed
Words delicately laced in hatred
These spirits drag into a sea of darkness
I search for a way out, as I'm surrounded with nothingness
I sink until I hit the floor
I crash hard, with blood stains on the door
Deciding if the blood is mine or if it’s yours
I pace my mind, back and forth
One half of my mind is joyful and flying
The other one is miserably dying
I wonder if the latter is trying
Because if I try harder, maybe I'll stop crying
The days have all been blurry to me
My face blinded by the burning water of the sea
They say it gets better when the night ends
But when does the sun rise and the peace begin?
The sky was painted black by the moon
She was leeching off light from the sun, too
Envious of the sun's power, she killed our minds
Causing the stars to die and darkness to unwind
Shoving words of hatred down our throats
The sun is whom the moon approached
They fought a bloody fight, leaving one to die
Yet the end is different in everyone's mind
I am the sun
I need to fight, yet I run
Showing the courage of a feeble doe
I let the moon's evil power grow
I run away from the pain I face
Yet I trip on sharp rocks, and my heart breaks
I fall down on the floor, the blood on the door
I'm telling you, I just can't do this anymore
But I put on a smile
I wear a mask for a while
Because if I wear the most desired face
Maybe then something big will change
If I wear the sunshine that I hide behind
Real sunshine is what I will find
If I learn the whispers of the wind
The wind will whisper my name again

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter