The War In My Head

I feel as if I made it so far But I still can’t see the end Every step fixes and breaks my heart I’m losing hope, friend I’m stuck in this cage in my head Trapped with anxiety and depression I don’t know how, but I need to leave I’m waiting because I know someone has the key But as I lay my head down on my pillow As my tears and my fears begin to grow I feel a war start in my head A war you’ve never faced, one that wants me dead You don’t know what i’m thinking So hush your lips and stop assuming You can’t imagine what it takes To defeat these thoughts so I don’t break These demons whisper to me in bed Words delicately laced in hatred These spirits drag into a sea of darkness I search for a way out, as I'm surrounded with nothingness I sink until I hit the floor I crash hard, with blood stains on the door Deciding if the blood is mine or if it’s yours I pace my mind, back and forth One half of my mind is joyful and flying The other one is miserably dying I wonder if the latter is trying Because if I try harder, maybe I'll stop crying The days have all been blurry to me My face blinded by the burning water of the sea They say it gets better when the night ends But when does the sun rise and the peace begin? The sky was painted black by the moon She was leeching off light from the sun, too Envious of the sun's power, she killed our minds Causing the stars to die and darkness to unwind Shoving words of hatred down our throats The sun is whom the moon approached They fought a bloody fight, leaving one to die Yet the end is different in everyone's mind I am the sun I need to fight, yet I run Showing the courage of a feeble doe I let the moon's evil power grow I run away from the pain I face Yet I trip on sharp rocks, and my heart breaks I fall down on the floor, the blood on the door I'm telling you, I just can't do this anymore But I put on a smile I wear a mask for a while Because if I wear the most desired face Maybe then something big will change If I wear the sunshine that I hide behind Real sunshine is what I will find If I learn the whispers of the wind The wind will whisper my name again