Pie Anyone
Don’t often see him
7/8 asleep
But I’m sometimes surprised
Brushing my feet
Purring and arching
And pushing up high
Ecstasy shows in a half closed eye
Black white and furry
Real smooth to the touch
But not really keen on fussing that much
So soft and cuddly you fail to remember
He has in his mind a deadly agenda
Hey human, scratch me here, scratch me there
You only think that you’re covered in hair
You feed me Iams and think I’m so nice
But I really prefer the heads of live mice
The warden of the garden on constant patrols
Listening for sounds like the digging of moles
One eyes the ground the other the sky
Watching and waiting for things that might fly
For this week I have but one major goal
To tear that magpie another arsehole
He goes for me when he can, him and his mate
One will tease me from my lair the other lies in wait
They got me in a tree one day I was hanging off one paw
Down came the magpie crow, I couldn’t hold on much more
One quick peck and I let go
Bloody hard that beak you know
Hit a few branches way below
Crash -landed on the floor
I’ll get some food, maybe a nap and
Lick my paw like nothing has happened
I’ll strut and swagger and act so sublime
Knowing that pie is on borrowed time
I go out at night while they aren’t around
Scout around and find some new ground
Under a bush I make a new lair
Lie in wait for my friend of the air
I eat a few moths spend a night on the tiles
And maybe I’ll doze for a time
Aha they’re near you can hear them for miles
If he lands up close he’s mine
Hello Jake you look all smug
After your night on the town
You had better get on to your rug
And have a good lie down
Dream a dream of shredded bird
Dying all a quiver
Bet you didn’t expect me
To be chewing on your liver
Sorry about the garden mess
Hope it doesn’t make you queasy
We had a tear up I must confess
And he came apart real easy
- this is a poem by my dad about our pet cat "jakey"
Copyright © Glinda Host | Year Posted 2017
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