Why I Ended It Between Us
I’d rather you have an angry memory of me
Saying “Screw him, he’s nothing to me” whenever my name is brought up
Than a sad memory of me
You balling your eyes out whenever my name is brought up
Thinking it’s your fault I’m gone
Saying “I should’ve seen that he needed help, I should’ve helped him myself”
When in reality baby, I would’ve shown you false emotions to further hide my true self
Telling you “I’m all better now, you don’t have to worry about me ever again”
Then turn around the next minute and put a bullet in my skull to end all my mental pain
See in our society, I’m ashamed to have this feeling of wanting to end it all.
Suicidal people are treated like their special cases
But as soon as you see someone for your suicidal thoughts
They brand you a misfit and it goes on your record that you feel this way
After this you can’t buy a house, car, dog, or get a good job
You can't even attempt to rename yourself Bob
Because they see you as a risk to both society and yourself
And that's why I, like many others before, am contemplating killing myself
So yes that’s the reason why I ended it between us
I did it for you, to save you the heartbreak.
Rather you damn my soul to the furthest pits of Hell
As it’ll show you care or did care just a little bit
Than have you at home crying day in & day out about me
When I said I love you, I really meant it
I don’t know though
Maybe you’ll see me again, maybe not
Copyright © Anaiye Manuel | Year Posted 2017
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