Phantasm
Look at me.
Look at my face.
Look into my soul. Look into my mind.
What do you see?
Every inch of me is a mess.
A mess of emotions, of feelings. I'm an utter mess.
Ever since you came to my life, I did my best to alleviate myself.
But its still not enough. I'm still fragile. I'm still messed up.
Everything is blurry and unexplainable.
And now that you left, I had tried to end my life.
But I didn't.
But you want to know what keeps me going right now?
You.
I can recall the sweet messages you gave thee. The sweet touches, dulcet gazes, sickening promises. I remember them. [/smiles;
But you said we're over now. There's no us. There's no more us.
I took no notice. I held your hand as if you were still mine.
I looked at you as if you were still mine.
I cared for you as if you were still mine.
I am loving you as if you were still mine.
Why?
Cause I didn't get the chance to do this to you when you were still mine.
But you said "Please stop".
No. I won't stop.
I want to be yours even if you're not mine.
I want to make you feel like you're mine even if you're not really mine.
You shook me away. I came closer to you.
You went away. I came back.
We are so near to each other yet so far in our emotions.
Is it still phantasm? No. Its my reality.
Copyright © Sarah Rose Linas | Year Posted 2017
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