Phantasm

Look at me. Look at my face. Look into my soul. Look into my mind. What do you see? Every inch of me is a mess. A mess of emotions, of feelings. I'm an utter mess. Ever since you came to my life, I did my best to alleviate myself. But its still not enough. I'm still fragile. I'm still messed up. Everything is blurry and unexplainable. And now that you left, I had tried to end my life. But I didn't. But you want to know what keeps me going right now? You. I can recall the sweet messages you gave thee. The sweet touches, dulcet gazes, sickening promises. I remember them. [/smiles; But you said we're over now. There's no us. There's no more us. I took no notice. I held your hand as if you were still mine. I looked at you as if you were still mine. I cared for you as if you were still mine. I am loving you as if you were still mine. Why? Cause I didn't get the chance to do this to you when you were still mine. But you said "Please stop". No. I won't stop. I want to be yours even if you're not mine. I want to make you feel like you're mine even if you're not really mine. You shook me away. I came closer to you. You went away. I came back. We are so near to each other yet so far in our emotions. Is it still phantasm? No. Its my reality.