The Girl Child
The girl child
I am standing here on her behalf
Her story might be your story or my story or our story
THE GIRL CHILD
It was an endless journey I thought
The same man who talked to me about the loving kindness, tender mercy of God and JESUS the savior of the whole world
The same will molest and abuse me tomorrow
Completely, I dashed out my hope
Because even when I cried all day all night he couldn’t just stop
This went on and on and on and on and on and on and on
Then he left me with a question
Who is God?
(Silent)
Many times I asked in my quiet place
If God exist
If God has eyes to see
Nose to smell
Ear to hear
Mouth to speak
Hand to touch
Womb to feel
Heart to care
And strength to fight
To fight my battle
Feel my pain
Hear my cry
See my tears
Heal my wounds
Take my fear
Be in my shoe
And speak for my right
The right of a
GIRL CHILD
Sorrow, rooted deep in my bone
As old as an ancient kingdom unknown
Older than me
Smile stolen
Tears gushing every night as I await his arrival
Joy replaced with sadness
I kept wondering if there’s any place called heaven
Seething with anger and bitterness inside
Pretence became the only friend in sight
Because that was the only way I could survive
The pain and sorrow, the trauma that struck my heart
Life was so unjust, not fair and was never on my side
Too many secrets I conceived buried them deep inside
How can I get them to believe that my story is true and not a lie
How can I tell them?
That my father abuses me every night
Seeing that they will kill me with the next available knife
Shhhhhhhhh, I kept quite right after the act
This went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
At first, I hated it
But gradually it became part of me
As he made me believe I was created for this
Satisfying his flesh and greed was the only thing I inherited from him
Don’t be quick to blame or judge me
My mum left when I was two
At four I became victim
I lost my emotions
Living in denial
Trained to hate, to take revenge
Pain for pain
As forever my pride as a woman cannot be regained
From the day of my little age
I appeared to be fine
Yet in my inside falling and tearing apart
Being exposed to the crude world, living with the wound I called scar for life
Even when I was saved by that faithful friend of my mum
I couldn’t lay off the experience I had twenty four years ago
Because I was held captive with the fear of “all men are the same”
Then I built a wall around me as a reminder of where I came from
Believing time will heal my wounds, amend my broken heart, put my broken pieces together and move on
But this thought kept me for so long
Pain
Pain has proved to be faithful for all these years making me feel like he was the one who really cared
He taught me that I could never be healed
Taught me how to cry
How to depend on him as my source of emotions
How to live with knife close to my heart
As a mark of his love for me
This, in the real sense was an irony
Pain was the only friend I knew
Until I met Him who assured me that, long before now he had nailed my pain, shame and grief to the cross
And now the night is over cos there’s an unspeakable joy that comes in the morning
It took Jesus to let the pain die
After all these years
“All men are the same” was my key word
But my mindset changed when I met JESUS in His WORD
This made me strong and bold
This is her story
What is your own story, your pain, your anger and the bitterness that’s driving you insane
There’s balm in gilead for me
For you
And for all the broken hearted
Jesus is our balm in gilead
Time doesn’t heal but JESUS does.
#IamKing
Copyright © King Ochayi James | Year Posted 2020
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