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My Life

My life is controlled, it always has been, what choices can I really make
without guidelines and rules to reveal the sun from the fog of my mind
when have i been able to deal with my problems without “suggestions”
when have my thoughts and my thoughts only remedied my issues, because to tell the truth I didn’t ask you, I can do things on my own I don’t need your help, if I did I would speak up,
I’m fed up with the advice, I’m annoyed at your condescending attitude, can’t you see I want you to leave me alone?  Do you want to know what I would really do with my life if I could?
I would buy an apartment in a big city, it doesn’t have to be nice, it just needs a window,
a window for me to look out of hours every day, for me to observe the people, cars, and the scenery, and I would sit there in my chair and write, maybe a poem about the birds, maybe a story about a man who intrigued me when he passed, or maybe I would just write my thoughts down until my hand gave out, people would judge me, “What is he doing, why does he stare?”
but let them talk, I really don’t care, all that matters is that you won’t be there

Copyright © Matt Newman | Year Posted 2015

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things