Mother of Mine
I ask you for a hug, and you smile at me and say
That’s not the type of thing that I feel quite up to today
I smile back and understand that today must’ve been tough
And for a while I accept that the words “I love you” is enough
Months go on by-- I ask again--you smile at me and say
“I love you my dear, but I just wasn’t raised that way”
I nod and accept that there’s great pain you have known
So, I bury the sting of rejection that’s grown
I shrug it off and I whisper that “in time she will heal”
So, years drift on by, until one day I feel
Like the weight of the world is pressing down on my shoulders
Stress and anxiety as heavy as boulders
I long for some comfort, just a small bit will do
But you look at me then like I have offended you
“How many times have I told you before?
I cannot give you the hug you’ve been asking me for”
I Smile and nod, though my heart begins bleeding
I cry for a while trying to ponder the meaning
I know that I cannot undo what’s been done
It’s clear to me now that your demons have won
So I walk away questioning if it’s me or if it’s you?
I walk away haunted, wondering what I can do
What can be done to make me less a disgrace?
A constant reminder of a past you’d erase
So I ponder what accomplishment I can possibly muster
To finally be embraced by the love of my mother
Copyright © Samantha Sedillo | Year Posted 2025
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