Creature of habit
Creature of habit
I have never been the one to hang onto feelings like my life depended on it.
I have never been the one to check my phone constantly for a dude's messages.
Unfortunately, everything when it came to you was different.
I became someone I readily hate because of you.
Deep inside, I knew it was not love.
Love was not supposed to hurt like this.
Love doesn't bring doubts.
Love doesn't bring chaos.
Love is clarity.
Love is communication.
Love is reassurance.
I felt none of this with you.
Until you started to put effort into us.
Until you gave up on us.
My mind told me I was at fault.
I realized, I wrote stories about how women should be treated,
But why do I let you treat me like trash?
Why does all my knowledge vanish when I am next to you?
One day, I realized,
I was never in love with you.
I was emotionally attached to you.
I had you for so long,
My mind forgot how to think without you.
Because love is supposed to feel like home,
Not trying to survive a tornado.
Because when a real man comes knocking,
He will realize I am the prize.
Not offer the bare minimum,
But shower me with all the affection in the world.
Because I am beautiful.
I am bright.
I am the prize.
The shining light.
You ruined an emoji for me.
For that, I won't forgive you.
I guess I am a creature of habit,
But every habit can be unlearned.
I don't even find you attractive.
So, why is it so hard to say goodbye?
I hate that I can't let you go,
When your presence has done nothing but ruin my life.
The little kindness you showed me as a kid,
Is a debt my mind has sworn to pay.
One day, I will re-read this and
I will laugh,
That I got attached to a familiar stranger,
Who wasn't half the man I ended up with.
Copyright © Rophine Writes | Year Posted 2025
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