An Ode To My First Love
I still love you
Like I loved painting when I was eight
I still look at you
Like I was seeing a puppy when I was nine
I still want you to be happy
Like when I was happy to see a Disney movie when I was ten
And I will still be here for you
Like I have been since we met when we were eleven
And every hour of every day, I’ve thought about you
Like I thought of cringy love song lyrics when we were twelve
I’ll still cheer you on
Like I did at your soccer meets when we were thirteen
But I have to say I’m not in love with you anymore
Not like when I saw how special your brown eyes are when we were fourteen
I no longer see the version of you that I first met
Or when I first realized I loved you
Because that version of you simply does not exist anymore
Not like when I asked you out when we were fifteen
And the man standing in front of me is no longer you
Not like the man who took my first kiss when were sixteen
I wish you were the man I fell in love with
Like when I blew out my candles, wishing for you to stay forever when I was seventeen
Because if he still existed
You would be in my bed next to me at the age of eighteen
But yes, I still love you
Like I always have since day one
I’m just no longer in love with you like when we were twelve
And I miss you
Like I miss the cold water on warm summer days
But I no longer miss the relationship
Like I did a few weeks ago when you first left
I wish you listened to my birthday wish at seventeen
But I’m nineteen now
And thank you for loving me
Because I still love you
And real love doesn’t go away
But I am not longer in love with you
Because I have no idea who the man standing in front of me is
Copyright © Mckenzie Kiel | Year Posted 2022
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