An Ode To My First Love

I still love you Like I loved painting when I was eight I still look at you Like I was seeing a puppy when I was nine I still want you to be happy Like when I was happy to see a Disney movie when I was ten And I will still be here for you Like I have been since we met when we were eleven And every hour of every day, I’ve thought about you Like I thought of cringy love song lyrics when we were twelve I’ll still cheer you on Like I did at your soccer meets when we were thirteen But I have to say I’m not in love with you anymore Not like when I saw how special your brown eyes are when we were fourteen I no longer see the version of you that I first met Or when I first realized I loved you Because that version of you simply does not exist anymore Not like when I asked you out when we were fifteen And the man standing in front of me is no longer you Not like the man who took my first kiss when were sixteen I wish you were the man I fell in love with Like when I blew out my candles, wishing for you to stay forever when I was seventeen Because if he still existed You would be in my bed next to me at the age of eighteen But yes, I still love you Like I always have since day one I’m just no longer in love with you like when we were twelve And I miss you Like I miss the cold water on warm summer days But I no longer miss the relationship Like I did a few weeks ago when you first left I wish you listened to my birthday wish at seventeen But I’m nineteen now And thank you for loving me Because I still love you And real love doesn’t go away But I am not longer in love with you Because I have no idea who the man standing in front of me is