I Am Depressed
My pain has a romantic way of making my tears feel like perfect company
Anxiety holds me a hostage inside my head
Sorrow sweeps me up in his arms
And I can't get out of bed
Sitting with a sharp knife on my chest and think
What would it feel like to die?
When nobody cares, loves and life is not fair
So I dig the knife into my chest
And say to myself "Hey you know what?
This doesn't hurt
So I dig deeper
Everyone stands on my grave
I am somewhere watching every single person I've hurt
Mama cries and asks why son?
With my muted voice I tell them
I wish you knew how many labels I carried
The grief that kept on ringing in my heart
like clumsy church bell
Listen, I was a party I didn't want to be at
Mama, I wasn't afraid of dying but afraid of living
She screams loudly, why didn't you talk to me?
You’ve left your brothers, sisters, and loved ones
Son I could make you happy, please wake up
I sadly tell her, “Isolation overwhelmed"
And if could tell my story, maybe you would
also follow my knife
What I wanted was to sink into this ground
that's what is fair
Am sorry mom, I hear echoes in my ears
I don't know if it's heaven or hell calling
Copyright © Blessing Jeremiah | Year Posted 2023
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