I Am Depressed

My pain has a romantic way of making my tears feel like perfect company Anxiety holds me a hostage inside my head Sorrow sweeps me up in his arms And I can't get out of bed Sitting with a sharp knife on my chest and think What would it feel like to die? When nobody cares, loves and life is not fair So I dig the knife into my chest And say to myself "Hey you know what? This doesn't hurt So I dig deeper Everyone stands on my grave I am somewhere watching every single person I've hurt Mama cries and asks why son? With my muted voice I tell them I wish you knew how many labels I carried The grief that kept on ringing in my heart like clumsy church bell Listen, I was a party I didn't want to be at Mama, I wasn't afraid of dying but afraid of living She screams loudly, why didn't you talk to me? You’ve left your brothers, sisters, and loved ones Son I could make you happy, please wake up I sadly tell her, “Isolation overwhelmed" And if could tell my story, maybe you would also follow my knife What I wanted was to sink into this ground that's what is fair Am sorry mom, I hear echoes in my ears I don't know if it's heaven or hell calling